May30

The scale didn’t move this past week, which makes me a little sad, but it is my fault.  I wasn’t good at all last week, but I’m not going to go into the details, b/c it is in the past & this is a new week!  And what a week it is going to be…….traveling, turkey, cream cheese corn, spice cake, and of course my personal favorite cornbread dressing (yes, I am from the deep south!).   I know that I’m going to have to taste a little of everything on Thanksgiving, so my goal for this week is to be on target every other day & walk 4 times instead of three (does the walking at the mall on Friday count? hmmmm something to ponder).  My weight watchers at work group meets on Thursdays so no weigh in this week, but I’m hoping to drop at least 2 lbs by the next week.  I know it is possible even with the holiday.  The other thing I’m starting to think about is how I’m going to survive the weeks between Thanksgiving & New Year’s.  Last year there were literally “goodies” in the break room every day!!!!  I know I need an action plan to help me get through! Okay enough rambling, I hope everyone has a Happy & Safe Thanksgiving!

So I’m down 2lbs…..Yeah!!! Honestly I was hoping for more (I’m always wanting 5 lb, even though I know its unrealistic).  I’m still excited about 2, that means I’m 2 lbs closer to my goal.  This week was a little hard b/c of halloween and I was PMSing, but I just keep telling myself don’t trade what you want now for what you want most. 

I wasn’t great with the exercise this past week, but I will improve on that this week.  I also need to get back in the habit of writing everything down.  So that is my goal for this week, exercise at least 4 times & write everything down! 

Hope everyone has a great week!

So I’m reading this book called The Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck.  It is a cognitive behavioral approach to weight loss that you can use with any diet& there are exercises that you do every day so that you can train your brain to think like a thin person.  I know it sounds cheesy but since I have a psych background, I know that this approach works.  Although I don’t know if the impact will be the same through a book as it is when you are actually attending counseling sessions.  But long story short, emotional eating, is by far my worst enemy when it comes to weight loss, so I’m willing to try anything.

Anyway, one of the exercises is to make a list on index cards of all the reasons you have for wanting to lose weight (you then read these cards to yourself several times a day to remind yourself why you are trying to lose).  I made my cards a few days ago, but thought I would list some of the key reasons on here to keep me accountable.  So here are a few; when I lose weight:

1. I’ll  feel better about myself

2. I’ll be able to wear cute trendy clothes

3. I won’t always look around the room to determine whether or not I’m the fattest person there

4. Exercise will be easier, I’ll have more energy to do the things I enjoy

5. I’ll stop avoiding people who knew me when I was thinner.

So these are just a few of the reasons, but they are probably the most important ones.  I also wanted to post my goals for the week on here.  They are to stay on points, walk at least 40minutes 3 times this week, and drink all my water. 

I am so feed up with being fat.  I have got to make some changes in my life & I thought this would be a good place to go for support.  I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.  I started dieting when I was in 5th grade, and my weight has been up & down since then…….. However, things have really been out of control over the past 2 1/2 years.   Before 2005 I was overweight, but not morbidly obese.   But in April 05 my mother passes away & I turned to food to shove down the  emotions.  This increase in eating (and drinking) was compounded by the fact that I had also just started a desk job.  Prior to that time I was working in retail & moving around a lot at work.  Over the past 2.5 years I have put on 50lbs & since I was about 40lbs overweight to begin with I am now just fat. 

I look at pictures of myself & think how did I do this to myself?  I have a very supportive family, but noone else seems to really struggle with their weight the way I do, and I know they are sick of hearing about my latest diet.  So here I am….all 239lbs of me.  I’m folowing weight watchers & have actually lost about 10 lbs already.  My goal is to weigh 130 by Christmas 2008.